Every year, on the Paternal Side of the Family (Which has the complete set of siblings who didn't decide to be dicks to their mother) there is an Annual Christmas Letter. Apparently, this year, the letter has been outsourced to Nazism. I learned a long cold hard lesson from my Paternal Grandmother the hard way, that Aggressive defense of your rights is simply literally not worth the effort when it comes to family unless you are willing to go full Sherman. The problem comes, you see, from those 'just love everybody' but don't really love them equally. I did that, I didn't choose which family members to love more until they forced my hand by either splitting the family or treating my wife with their yelling at publicly filmed schoolboard actions and the second hand anecdotes about torturing small animals for fun like an activated sociopath. The point being, when dealing with people you aren't going to cut off but who don't give a shit about your feelings about another family member, not speaking to someone becomes the energy equivalent of "Tell Marsha" (when Marsha is in the room) "that I'm not speaking to her and that I'm very angry with her."
Its fucking Retarded, which is a bad word, but since liberals lost this election to Nazis, and Liberals are the ones who made it a bad word...gonna use it (since it originally came from Mentally Retarded and its proper use is for the Morally Retarded, which means Nazism.) Anywho, the point is, I no longer have fucks to give on Center Left Liberals or their definition of words or Nazis.
Anywho.
This is not the letter I'm going to send because the drama isn't worth it, but the snark is in honor of my Grandmother Focha who filled every Family Circle letter with Venom Supreme living in a Patriarchy and.a Marriage where she was not respected. (tHaT's NoT tRuE sHe LoVeD gRaNdPa VeRy MuCh!!! Slaved loved their masters but that didn't make them any less slaves Retard.)
Anywho Mark 2.
"This year was very challenging for Tom and Julia but they rose to that Challenge. It started with a visit to the fascinating Springfield Armory where the revolutionary war general George Washington commissioned a gun manufactory to kill Imperial British and German Hessian Capitalist Mercenaries for trying to murder people who just wanted their lives. Then we visited the Dr. Suess Museum and saw the anti nazi propaganda cartoons he drew that made fun of stupid nazis and Hitler. Seeing these cartoons, you have to wonder why Christian Nationalists (who used a fake name for National Socialists since Socialism was Popular Like Charlie Chaplin whose Mustache Hitler Stole) would ever be dumb enough to follow a failed truck drive just like a failed artist. Of course as a struggling creative myself I understand, but I guess the difference between me and Hitler is I never sat around letting other people work for me. I've always provided for my family just like my now struggling father.
Anywho.
Julia got an awesomezors job at The Massachusetts Historical Society, and we had to drive an hour back and forth to Boston from halfway across the state. You'd think that the most liberal state in the country would have trains that run on time, but they dont. It takes four HOURS to get from Springfield to Boston so we had to drive. But we made it work and for over 5 MONTHS we got her to work. In May we finally sold our house and got an Apartment in Salem, and she was having the time of her life in her new job making a lot of friends and advancing her career.
In July, her family visited and we visited the USS Constitution where they shot and killed a bunch of bunch of murder British who thought that Monarchy was a better form of government than democracy. They lost and died. A lot. Especially since the French helped them a lot. You know France? The liberal country nazis hated? France got curb stomped by nazis because they surrendered but America helped them out. Why would anyone surrender to Nazis instead of just murder them since Nazis wanna murder everyone who isn't a nazi? I don't know. We now live in a world where all public dialog is controlled by capitalist companies who pretend civility but actually enslave the worker and so we have to pretend civility in order to be able to be represented in the public dialog. So of course Murdering Nazis isn't required anymore, this is the 21tst century and we have a well functioning government that can't break.
Anywho.
We all got covid because religious inlaws not the immediate inlaws I won't name went on a cruise and didn't wear masks. Fortunately we were vaccinated. I mean only fucking idiots like nazis dont like vaccines right? Only fucking idiots like Nazis would hire a worm brained anti vexer murderer to be in charge of the CDC lolol.
Anywho we also toured many places in Salem, like the Witch House where they murdered a woman on the accusations of a demented little girl and hanged women who talked too much. Puritants were very much a Your Body My Choice kind of group of people. We also saw the Museum of Torture where they showed us how the Inquisition and Nazis in Concentration Camps hired sociopaths to torture people for the state just because of how they were born. That's definitely a thing Nazis like to do.
How sad.
Then we ate a really nice meal (insert 4000 pages on all the things we ate here with more snarky veiled comments about family members I dont like (Love ya Grandma, you actually were pretty cool even though your soul clearly curdled under my really sick Grandpa) )
Sadly, this year was a real success story and then I informed my wife that Librarians would not be safe under Nazis in the new regime. And so after much discussion, she is going to lose the job that we BOTH worked our asses off for, sold our first house for, because you can't be a special collections meta data specialist for a physical fucking archive remotely. You Kinna need to be there for that. So Switzerland is Calling.
Oh and I did a lot of writing. But you can check out my writing blog for that.
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