Is this the first introspection day

Or is it the second?

What's introspection day?

A recent betrayal after a lifetime of love and effort at keeping open arms forced me to embrace introspection.  Not only for myself in terms of "Do I really want to keep doing this?" (answer 'Yes' but not to people who say I never did, and who coincidentally are disgusting liars and chameleons of the lowest possible denominator) but also "God, how do I avoid ever EVER having my head so far up my own as as that person" and hopefully teach my children (if we can have them) and every generation after?

So the best I could come up with.

I think a holiday works best if its a bit of fun and a bit practical.  Halloween lets you be anyone you want and you get loot n candy.

But what's fun about introspection? I mean I personally found a way that is loads of fun, but that wont work so well for others.  Still working on it.  Practically, I am just making it the date my goal plans are due, and that was just like Feb 1 plus four more days, so great.

But I also added one extra bit.  I force myself to examine at least one believe that I consider core to my being and look at it as freshly as I can.

Case in point, now that I'm not Christian and not even Monotheist, is Forgiveness good?  Well, I mean there is the whole 'unburden the soul' and I agree, making things personal is just toxic, but there is (to me) no great score keeper who gives me a bigger mansion cause I turned the other cheek.

So this 'not forgetting but forgiving' thing needs a bit of work.  I think it is possible to dump the baggage associated with carrying a grudge whilst still having consequences for evil actions.  That's not 'not forgetting' nor is it 'never forgiving' it is just establishing a set of circumstances that are a result of consequences of actions.

But what about actual forgiving?

Well it feels good, grant you that, especially if the person actually wants to be forgiven.  But have you ever forgiven someone and watched em turn around and do the same thing over? God that sucks.  It makes you so mad.

Now if you don't believe someone has the right to judge you just because they are more powerful than you or they 'created' you, then that makes mandatory forgiveness kinda...hard.  Plus? Feels good.  Negative? Potential disappointment.

Nuanced you say? Absolutely.  But doesn't that then make forgiveness a subjective and at the same time reasoned endevor? Will they 'repent'? Will they do it again? Do they acknowledge that they were wrong and AGREE with why they were wrong?

I mean, let's be clear.

There's 'get over it'...everyone should do that every day.  God, we carry too much of our own baggage and just need to let it go.  The "four agreements" book about not taking things Personally is a good idea (most of the time).

Forgiveness is something else.

It's your own personal presidential pardon.  I mean, if you are doing it, you aren't 'getting over it' you are wiping the slate clean.  I've done that with some friends.  A few of which screwed me over royally, didn't even know, didn't even care, but I forgave em.  Glad I did.  Would I now? Yes.  Because they changed.  Because they developed moral complexity, and because I did too and am less of a judgemental bastard than I was.

But that doesn't convince me that forgiveness for everything, even a 'most things' level and not a 'insane stupid ludicrous moron level argument' style thing.

So playing devil's advocate FOR forgiveness as blanket policy....I'm drawing a blank.

So I introspected and (surprise surprise) have exactly the same policy I did before but actually am glad I did it because I have considered the subtle nuances between 'getting over it' and actual forgiveness and when or why you should do either.  You should generally forgive friends and family you want around you in the long term if it is worth it.  You don't have to forgive generic fucktards who aren't worth your time and will never change.

That was fun.